How do YOU make yourself feel sexy?

For years I didn't feel sexy.

When I was in my teens and twenties I did...sort of. In my teens it was dicey because I couldn't seem to get a boy to be interested in me. I wore the tight jeans--the kind that forced you to slide into your desk sideways and stick your legs out in order to avoid being cut in half--and I had the 80's hair. I smiled at a few boys, and even managed to get one to kiss me. But for the most part the boys in my age range weren't interested in a rather outspoken Sci-Fi freak whose abilities in math could shame even the nerdiest pocket-protector-toting geek. Let alone the star of the volleyball team. Apparently teenage boys don't like girls that are smarter than they are. Who knew?

So, not until I met my number one hunny at the tender age of 19 did I really start to feel like I had the kind of sex appeal required to lure all those good little Mennonite boys into temptation. Alas, however, the very first boy I dated was so perfect that I never needed to look any further! Therefore my exposure to the opposite sex, and hence the affirmation of my sex appeal, ended up being very limited.

So, through the years of marriage, home-ownership, pregnancy, lactation and motherhood...my wonderful hunny continued to always tell me how beautiful and sexy I was. And that is wonderful! However...I confess that after 20 years it started to lose it's...zing. And I confess that through those years of pregnancy and looking after toddlers I pretty much gave up on the whole sex appeal thing. What's the point, after all when you spend much of your free time wiping up poop and mopping up puke? But then...suddenly...and yes, I do believe it was right around that proverbial female sexual peak...I decided it was time to get off my ample butt and start to feel like a woman again! And I did. I lost 30 pounds, grew out my hair, and bought my first pair of low-rise jeans. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. But I still didn't feel sexy. Not...really. And at the time...I couldn't really say why. And then it happened--the epiphany!

I had gone out to a bar to meet some girlfriends for an evening of dancing. However...arriving at the ridiculously early hour of 10:00 pm....left me waiting for my girlfriends all alone. Not being particularly shy I got a drink at the bar and sat down to wait. The first to approach was a college age boy with a rye and coke and a goofy smile who sat down beside me and proceeded to inflate my ego exponentially. I'm not sure if he...flirted exactly, however I did come away from that table with a perpetual invitation to keg parties at his house. (I have yet to take him up on that.) But it was upon walking away from that table that the real fun began.

I heard my name called and was startled to discover two of those volley-ball playing jocks from my old highschool...two men who in 1982 barely knew I existed, and who had, on occasion teased my geeky friends and myself to distraction. Well...it seemed that NOW the distraction was on the other foot. These two divorcees on the make had eyes that were so big, and jaws that had dropped so far that I almost thought I was going to have to start mopping up their drool. I confess it felt good...damn good to turn away their advances with a little flick of my wrist. "Sorry boys. I am sooooo out of your league."

Okay...I didn't say that. Not out loud, anyway. But the way that little experience made me feel was...beyond description. It was the boost and the affirmation that I had been seeking...and I hadn't even known it. Of course I came home and told #1 hunny all about it. He was fine with the flirtation, but I think he was a little hurt when he said, "I've been telling you you're beautiful and sexy for years. Doesn't it mean the same coming from me?" And I replied bluntly, "You know I love you, but...No. It doesn't." Sad, perhaps...but true.
This is a man who looked at me during the bloating and pain of childbirth and still TRULY believed I was beautiful. That means something, of course. It means everything! But there is a part of me that wants to be seen as sexy just because of the way a pair of jeans hug my ass, and the way a push up bra sets off a low-cut top. It's about walking down the street and FEELING sexy. Feeling like you stand out. Feeling superficially special, I suppose.

I guess it is superficial...and probably somewhat sad, but I don't think I'm alone in that feeling. FAct is I've put a few pounds back on again, and I'm not quite as sveldt and toned as I was five years ago, but I still have that feeling. When I do myself up, and put on those low-rise jeans, I feel good about who I am. I feel confident and sexy, and when I walk down the street I feel good about myself. And if it meant I had to crush a couple of old highschool bad-asses to get that feeling...then too bad for them. And YAY for me.

I think we all have to take that feeling wherever we can get it. Whether it's by spending $150 on a kick-ass hair style, or picking up a sexy pair of thigh-high boots....Whether it's by lacing yourself into a corsette until you've got "bum back" and your waistline has been cut down by a third....Whether it's by getting your nails done or treating (hmm...not sure THAT's the right word) yourself to a Brazilian wax....

It doesn't matter.
Do what you gotta do to find your inner Diva...and make no apologies for it!

(This entry is cross-posted from Diary of a Sex Diva)

What Makes You Buy a Book?

There's been an interesting discussion on one of my authors' loops the last few days about a particular author and why this author is so successful when there are so many authors out there who are more talented, but don't sell nearly as many books. Is it strictly marketing? Is the publisher pushing this author to success by extra promotion or publicity or bigger print runs? Does this author have that "thing" that makes people snap up the author's books as soon as they're published? What the heck is that "thing" and where can I get it? :-)

I buy a lot of books. I'm an author, but I'm a reader first. I love books, both e and print. I love curling up on my loveseat with a cup of tea close by (or a cold Dr Pepper) and losing myself in the author's world. I want to be so involved with the author's words that I block out everything around me. Sometimes that's hard to do. Sometimes I buy a book because of an excerpt/blurb/friend's recommendation and it turns out to be a snooze. Maybe my friend loved it, but it did nothing for me. Do I throw it against the wall? No. I read every word. I keep thinking it'll get better. I'm so disappointed when it doesn't.

So how do I pick which books to buy, you ask? I have an autobuy list of authors I love and know will never disappoint me with a wallbanger. I go to that list first. If one of those authors releases a new book, it's soon on my bookshelf or in my e-reader.

Next, I look at covers. If a cover grabs me, I'll turn it over and read the back blurb (or read the online blurb for an e-book). If I like that, I'll read an excerpt. I want a taste of the author's voice. That has to come from his/her own writing. Hook me with the excerpt and the chances are very good that I'll buy the book.

Do I buy a book based on reviews or bestseller status? No. I used to, I'll admit that. I used to look up reviews and buy my books based on ones that received 4 stars/hearts or better. I learned very quickly that tastes vary widely. What that reviewer considered a 4 I would've called a 2, and vice versa.

I love discovering new authors and adding them to my autobuy list. So what if some of my favorite authors aren't bestsellers? They're tops to me and that's what counts.

How about you? What makes you buy a book?

Lynn

Where’s my author insecurity?

We’ve talked about, written about it, even blogged about it…authors are, seemingly by nature, insecure creatures.

We hand something we’ve written to another person then cringe (either inwardly or in my case, visibly) while that person reads our words, desperate to see a smile or hear a chuckle at the right places. My editor knows, because I’ve explained this to her, that when she writes back to say “yes” to a book she must also tell me she loves it. If not, I start flipping over all sorts of rotten scenarios in my head about how she doesn’t really like it but they need to fill a slot in the schedule and this is the last time she’s taking one of these books from Tielle St. Clare! (Her voice rises in my mind as she reaches the end of that run-on sentence).

So, yes, insecure…sometimes. But not right now. I’m working on a book, due to my editor April 15, and I think it’s honestly one of the best stories I’ve written. I’m about two-thirds through the book. This is usually the point when I discover my fatal plot flaw and have to try to give the main characters have some motivation. Or I realize one of my sex scenes doesn’t quite work but I need it there. Something happens to stall my progress.

Not this time (at least not yet). The plot works. The characters have depth. There’s action. There's humor. There’s hot sex (well, duh). I’m so happy with this book, I can’t wait to finish it. I want to hand sections to people to read because I know they’ll come back with “my, it’s brilliant.” I know they will.

Having said that…who knows what the next week will bring? I might go from “genius mode” to “idiot mode” in a moment. Or as one of the women in my writers' group said “I don’t know who wrote that crap that was on my computer because what I wrote was perfect.”

I’m sure the insecurity will hit or at some point I’ll dread working on this story but right now, it’s fun and I can’t wait to get back to my keyboard. I’m riding the wave while it lasts.

Ahhhh, Spring Is Just Around the Corner!

And so is my WIP! It’s been a long dry spell. Well, my ‘well’ hasn’t dried up but minutes in the day sure have. I kinda thought that at this stage of my life, things would slow down. At the age of 53 (with 54 looming in the near future) I really thought that life would be calming down, that I’d be flipping out new books like crazy. But in order to get that writing done, I really need to be here at home, in front of my computer in a pair of comfy sweats pounding away on the keyboard writing the next great best seller. Um….NOT!

But I am happy to say that my sequel to Dragcon’s Snare is slowly getting written and it is with high hopes this book will be released sometime this year! I really think this story may have been done already if it weren’t for the horrible forces of Ma Nature and her damn menopause. Someone ought to kick her fat ass. I know if I ever run into her I’m going to chew her up and spit her out!

Okay, off my soapbox as far as that bitch is concerned. If anyone has read Dragcon’s Snare, it’s a futuristic/fantasy erotic love story about two conflicting societies. I had so much fun just letting my imagination run wild. I’m thrilled to say the reviewers loved it, and it was Crissy Dionne from Romance Junkies that gave me the idea to continue the story. But rather than continue on with King Renae and Queen Jana’s story, I’ve decided to move on to the next generation. Hence, Princess Shala, their daughter. And wowza, is she a great character to play with! Beautiful, willful and the perfect spar to Tayden, a universal mercenary with a few secrets of his own!

So stay tuned and keep your fingers crossed that life and menopause will back the hell up and leave me alone for awhile!

Rubes

Writing with a group?

Last month I joined a Writers Group. Some of you will already have discovered how amazing this is but it's all new to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my Sizzling Scribes and don't know what I'd do without them. However there is nothing like sitting in a room with a group of people who share your passion and just talk writing. My friends and family don't understand why I make the 80 mile round trip. It's the same reason I come back every year to the Romantic Times Convention (can't wait for Columbus in April!). Something about the creative atmosphere inspires me to be creative in return. It gives me a goal to focus on and gives me back my own passion for creating stories.

We meet every second Tuesday, I've only been twice so far and I already love it. The group has simple rules: anyone is welcome and you have to find something good to say about every piece of work before you say anything bad. There are poets, novelists and writers of short fiction amongst the people I have met so far of, all ages and stages. It is this open atmosphere that I love. I've looked at other writers groups before, many closer to home, and I've been put off by a general impression of snobbery. Given the kind of stories I write I felt that many of them wouldn't want me as a member or would look down on my work as not worthy. The very fact that this group was open to all writers, whatever they write is ultimately what prompted me to join. At the moment I think I am one of the only romance novelists and one of the few women in the group so the guys are getting an education. It's fun throwing out all their preconceived notions about the genre. Since they write in genre's I don't typically read, I too, am being educated. Inspiring me to take my work in directions I haven't considered before. So this blog is dedicated to the Glasgow Writers Group, thank you for making me welcome.

Are you a member of a writing group? Tell us about them. What is it that keeps you coming back?

Readin' & Writin'

As readers of my own blog know, I’ve been re-reading Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series over the past few months. When I was younger, I read voraciously in most genres. When I had my first child nineteen years ago, I remember the doctor telling me on his visit the day after her birth, “Enjoy that book you’re reading. It’s the last one you’re going to read for the next ten years.” I thought he was kidding. He wasn’t.


In the first years of my children’s lives, I read books like Goodnight Moon and Pat the Bunny, graduating to the Berenstain Bears and Disney books. When my daughter started fourth grade, my mom (a librarian) asked me if I’d heard of a character by the name of “Harry Potter”. I hadn’t. She told me I would soon. She was right, too. My daughter and I read through all seven books together, making JK Rowling’s epic the first books I’d read all the way through since giving birth.

But somewhere in there, I started writing books instead of reading them. I have not one, but two unfinished fantasy novels (one of which I REALLY want to get back to) as well as a historical (based on the letters home from a Union soldier – his is an amazing story I’d love to find a home for someday); these novels sit in my computer files just biding their time. Writing them gave me the same thrill I’d get when I’d open a book for the first time – the words filling my head with faraway places and strange sounding names. I got hooked.

My children are older now; my daughter’s in college and my son graduates high school this year. They don’t want mom to read to them anymore, and aren’t really interested in the books I do manage to find time for. Neither, to my knowledge, have ever read any of my books. They were off-limits till they turned eighteen and my daughter has since informed me that, while she’s very proud of me and she likes erotic romance, she just can’t bring herself to read mine because she doesn’t want to think her mother knows about such things!

I started out talking about the Outlander series and got side-tracked, I see. The point I’d intended to make was how wonderfully rich her series is and how I hope re-reading it has influenced me in a positive way. It certainly has gotten me re-reading my current work in progress (tentatively titled Services Rendered) with an eye toward adding depth and description.

So what about you-all? For the writers here, what books have influenced your own writing style? For the readers, what kinds of styles do you gravitate towards?

My Bucket List

Don't we all have a list of the things we want to do in our lives? Maybe it isn't actually written on paper, but it's in the back of our minds and we think about it a lot. I'm happy that I've managed to accomplish some of the things I've wanted to do, yet there are still some I hope to do soon.

Here's a little bit from my Bucket List:

1. Become a published author. I can check off that one as done. I published my first book in 2002.

2. Be on a best-selling book list. Done that. Okay, it was on Amazon, but a list is a list.

3. Buy my own home. Check. Yes, the bank still owns part of it, but it's mostly mine.

And some items I've yet to do:

4. See Alaska. I've been to 27 states in the U.S., but haven't made it to Alaska. I hope to do that this summer. My stepson and his wife own 400 acres on an island in Alaska that I would love to see.

5. Visit New England in autumn. I've been to Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and New York, but during the summer. I want to go back in autumn when the leaves are changing colors.

6. Take a train all the way across Canada. This is something I probably could never afford, but I'd love to do it.

7. Travel through the British Isles. The Scribes' Cait Miller lives in Scotland. She's promised me a tour if I ever make it over there. I'm holding her to that promise!

8. Visit Australia. I know there are a lot of authors in Australia. Maybe I could get one of them to play tour guide.

Hmm, do we see a pattern here? Looks like most of my still-to-do items include travel. It's a good thing I have my passport ready!

So what's on your Bucket List? Share with me.

Lynn