Okay, I admit it. I’m an addict. I can’t get enough of my “fix” every day. I use it as a procrastination tool instead of writing, I use it when I’m talking on the phone just to keep my hands busy, I use it as a sleep aid at night to make me drowsy.
What is my addiction? Those silly, little, web-based arcade games. You know them. Bejeweled, Peggle, Jewel Quest, Dynomite. And when I get bored with those, there are always the Spider Solitaire, Free Cell and plain-old Solitaire to play. I’ll sit down at the computer, ostensibly to check my email, and decide to play “just one game” to relax with. An hour later my rear end is asleep and my mouse fingers are freezing and I’m still playing.
So there you have it. My guilty little secret. Those darn games suck me in every time. Granted, because they take so little brain power, the rest of my mind is busy turning over new story lines or working out a bit of dialogue between my hero and heroine. The story file is almost always open just underneath the game window. I’ll write for a while, play for a while (and think), then write for a while.
Of course, my husband always walks in when I’m on the “play for a while” moment…he thinks I don’t write at all. That I just play games every time I tell him I need to get some writing done. How does one explain that one is actually writing even though it just LOOKS like I’m playing Dynomite for the twenty-seventh time this hour?
That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it. How about you? Have a favorite game/time-waster? I’m always on the lookout for new ones…
Showing posts with label diana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diana. Show all posts
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Sunday, July 13, 2008
For those of you who don’t already know, I live in a theatrical family. Not only do I hold a Bachelor’s in Theatre Arts, but my husband has an MFA in Acting and Directing and directs five shows a year. My daughter plans to major in Theatre Arts in the fall as she starts college (THAT apple didn’t fall far from the tree!). The only one in the house who isn’t “into” theatre is my 16-year-old son who is in his rebellion phase and wants nothing to do with activities his parents enjoy.
This weekend, my husband’s production of Little Shop of Horrors went up; my daughter choreographed and is stage managing it. My son actually went to his obligatory one performance and has asked if he could go a second time because he really enjoyed this one (wonders never cease!). Me? I go to every performance and hold down the fort while trying to keep everyone fed in between writing very hot sex scenes for my newest book.
Little Shop of Horrors began life as a Roger Corman film (1960) with a very young Jack Nicholson in the role of Wilbur Force, the masochistic patient of sadistic dentist Orin Scrivello. When Howard Ashman and Alen Menken rewrote the film as a musical in 1982, it opened off Broadway without that character, but keeping the pain-loving dentist. And when the musical was turned into a movie, another famous face, Steve Martin, made Orin’s sadistic streak famous.
I sat and watched another talented performer play the part these past few nights and let me tell you, Orin is a downright mean, nasty and abusive brute of a man. As he hollered at Audrey (the heroine) and pushed her around, I’m afraid I lost a bit of the comedy. Not because of the acting or the directing, but because of what I write.
You see, I write erotic romance with very strong BDSM themes with a heavy concentration on male Dominance and female submission. And as I watched, I saw a character who crossed the very thin line that separates BDSM activities from those of abusive ones. The jokes about the handcuffs and bruises were cute, until he raised a hand to her and called her a slut in front of other characters on the stage. At that point I stopped smiling and instead, wanted to punch the guy’s lights out. And I know I wasn’t alone.
While I laughed at some of the antics of Orin Scrivello, DDS, there was also a part of me cringing to see the stereotype once more reinforced: all Masters are bastards and all women who submit are dishrags with no self esteem. But in reality, that’s not BDSM, that’s abuse. Unfortunately, too many in the audience will never know the difference. And that’s where this blog post comes in.
As a writer of BDSM erotic romance, I have a duty – a responsibility –to remind people of the line between consensual activities and abuse. The mantra of “Safe, Sane and Consensual” is a good one, although communication is needed to determine the definitions of those terms. “Safe” is pretty easy, but depending on the level of expertise, something one Dom can do with ease, another would be dangerous trying. “Sane” is a word like “normal.” Who defines it? What is insane to one couple is very sane to another. Probably the only word of the three most people can agree on is “consensual.” If both parties agree to it and no force is used in the agreeing, then what they do is their business and no one else’s. Theoretically, anyway.
The problem is, the line is in a different place for each couple. What one man and woman not only tolerate but expect from each other, is very different from what another couple will accept. And that’s why communication is so incredibly important in all BDSM activities. Communication before the scene (so both parties have an idea where the limits are), communication during the scene (you’ll notice my characters often use the traffic signal as a way for the sub to let the Dom know what’s going on in her head; see note 1 below), and communication after the scene (what did both of them enjoy…what will they never do again?).
The language used by those participating in BDSM activities also helps to set the boundaries. “The term "play" is used along with another word to describe the sexual act with all the trimmings: a "scene." Both these terms, derived from the theatre, denote a setting-apart...a definite movement of the action out of real life and into a realm of fantasy” (see note 2). So communication and knowing the vocabulary are vital to keeping the action honest…and not crossing the line into abuse.
If you suspect you’re in an abusive relationship, GET OUT. Stay with a friend, go to a women’s shelter or better yet, pay a visit to your friendly neighborhood police station. But do NOT stay. Abuse and BDSM are not synonymous. The key word, consensual, is missing from an abusive situation. If you don’t like what he is doing, tell him. And if he becomes violent or doesn’t listen, LEAVE. And if you’re afraid of him…then that’s a dead ringer for an abusive situation and again, tell the grocery clerk or the movie usher…tell someone and have them help you get away until the police can be called.
The mainstream media feeds on lurid tales of BDSM activities gone awry or involving celebrities. But the reality is far more mundane. Lifestylers keep their activities quiet lest they be seen as abusers and prey; those truly abused often stay in their relationships far longer than they should.
And Little Shop of Horrors will go on entertaining audiences…and I will go on cringing every time Orin Scrivello, DDS takes the stage….
Play safe!
Diana
(NOTE 1 on the traffic signals: “Green” means “keep on what you’re doing,” “yellow” means “hand on, I need to pause the scene for a moment,” and “red” means “stop right now, don’t go one iota further and get me the heck out of these ropes!” Use them in good health!)
(NOTE 2: Yes, I'm quoting myself. Took that sentence from a previous blog post on my own blog. Scroll to second post of that week. Seemed to sum up what I wanted to say here, too!)
This weekend, my husband’s production of Little Shop of Horrors went up; my daughter choreographed and is stage managing it. My son actually went to his obligatory one performance and has asked if he could go a second time because he really enjoyed this one (wonders never cease!). Me? I go to every performance and hold down the fort while trying to keep everyone fed in between writing very hot sex scenes for my newest book.
Little Shop of Horrors began life as a Roger Corman film (1960) with a very young Jack Nicholson in the role of Wilbur Force, the masochistic patient of sadistic dentist Orin Scrivello. When Howard Ashman and Alen Menken rewrote the film as a musical in 1982, it opened off Broadway without that character, but keeping the pain-loving dentist. And when the musical was turned into a movie, another famous face, Steve Martin, made Orin’s sadistic streak famous.
I sat and watched another talented performer play the part these past few nights and let me tell you, Orin is a downright mean, nasty and abusive brute of a man. As he hollered at Audrey (the heroine) and pushed her around, I’m afraid I lost a bit of the comedy. Not because of the acting or the directing, but because of what I write.
You see, I write erotic romance with very strong BDSM themes with a heavy concentration on male Dominance and female submission. And as I watched, I saw a character who crossed the very thin line that separates BDSM activities from those of abusive ones. The jokes about the handcuffs and bruises were cute, until he raised a hand to her and called her a slut in front of other characters on the stage. At that point I stopped smiling and instead, wanted to punch the guy’s lights out. And I know I wasn’t alone.
While I laughed at some of the antics of Orin Scrivello, DDS, there was also a part of me cringing to see the stereotype once more reinforced: all Masters are bastards and all women who submit are dishrags with no self esteem. But in reality, that’s not BDSM, that’s abuse. Unfortunately, too many in the audience will never know the difference. And that’s where this blog post comes in.
As a writer of BDSM erotic romance, I have a duty – a responsibility –to remind people of the line between consensual activities and abuse. The mantra of “Safe, Sane and Consensual” is a good one, although communication is needed to determine the definitions of those terms. “Safe” is pretty easy, but depending on the level of expertise, something one Dom can do with ease, another would be dangerous trying. “Sane” is a word like “normal.” Who defines it? What is insane to one couple is very sane to another. Probably the only word of the three most people can agree on is “consensual.” If both parties agree to it and no force is used in the agreeing, then what they do is their business and no one else’s. Theoretically, anyway.
The problem is, the line is in a different place for each couple. What one man and woman not only tolerate but expect from each other, is very different from what another couple will accept. And that’s why communication is so incredibly important in all BDSM activities. Communication before the scene (so both parties have an idea where the limits are), communication during the scene (you’ll notice my characters often use the traffic signal as a way for the sub to let the Dom know what’s going on in her head; see note 1 below), and communication after the scene (what did both of them enjoy…what will they never do again?).
The language used by those participating in BDSM activities also helps to set the boundaries. “The term "play" is used along with another word to describe the sexual act with all the trimmings: a "scene." Both these terms, derived from the theatre, denote a setting-apart...a definite movement of the action out of real life and into a realm of fantasy” (see note 2). So communication and knowing the vocabulary are vital to keeping the action honest…and not crossing the line into abuse.
If you suspect you’re in an abusive relationship, GET OUT. Stay with a friend, go to a women’s shelter or better yet, pay a visit to your friendly neighborhood police station. But do NOT stay. Abuse and BDSM are not synonymous. The key word, consensual, is missing from an abusive situation. If you don’t like what he is doing, tell him. And if he becomes violent or doesn’t listen, LEAVE. And if you’re afraid of him…then that’s a dead ringer for an abusive situation and again, tell the grocery clerk or the movie usher…tell someone and have them help you get away until the police can be called.
The mainstream media feeds on lurid tales of BDSM activities gone awry or involving celebrities. But the reality is far more mundane. Lifestylers keep their activities quiet lest they be seen as abusers and prey; those truly abused often stay in their relationships far longer than they should.
And Little Shop of Horrors will go on entertaining audiences…and I will go on cringing every time Orin Scrivello, DDS takes the stage….
Play safe!
Diana
(NOTE 1 on the traffic signals: “Green” means “keep on what you’re doing,” “yellow” means “hand on, I need to pause the scene for a moment,” and “red” means “stop right now, don’t go one iota further and get me the heck out of these ropes!” Use them in good health!)
(NOTE 2: Yes, I'm quoting myself. Took that sentence from a previous blog post on my own blog. Scroll to second post of that week. Seemed to sum up what I wanted to say here, too!)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The naming of cats is a delicate matter....
~TS Eliot, Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats
Doesn’t matter if it’s a cat or a character, the name is all. Readers fall in love with characters and their names, sometimes going so far as to name their children after a favorite. I know this as fact because I named my daughter for the title character in William Shakespeare’s The Taming of The Shrew. In fact, the first words my seconds-old daughter heard her father speak were from that play, “Your name is Kate, I hear.”
~TS Eliot, Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats
Doesn’t matter if it’s a cat or a character, the name is all. Readers fall in love with characters and their names, sometimes going so far as to name their children after a favorite. I know this as fact because I named my daughter for the title character in William Shakespeare’s The Taming of The Shrew. In fact, the first words my seconds-old daughter heard her father speak were from that play, “Your name is Kate, I hear.”
So I fully understand the impact of a character's name on a reader's psyche. Names matter. A lot. And as a writer, if I want my characters to be memorable, I not only need to give them a memorable personality, I need to give them a memorable name. A great name. A name that will stick in the reader's mind long after the last page has been read.
In fact, names matter so much that I will start a brand-new story and only write about 500 words of it before I have to stop and tell the characters it’s time for them to fess up and tell me their names. I cannot take the story further without that piece of information. In every story I’ve written, the name and the character are inseparable. No name...no story.
Isabel in Cabin Fever was very willing to talk. She was named for a hurricane that had spun its way onshore the year or so previous. I saved that name until I was ready to tell her story and she was very cooperative in helping me along. So was Master Richard in Table for Four. I’d seen a drawing of a Dom and sub...don’t know the artist or the title of the drawing (but I do have it on my Yahoo newsgroup...if anyone could help me identify it, I’d be grateful!)...and as soon as I looked at the picture, I knew the character’s name and part of his story. And thus the story was told.
But mostly the characters are nowhere near so accommodating. Usually they are very recalcitrant or just plain stubborn, making me do all the work. In that case, I need to go looking for inspiration. And that’s where it gets interesting because the names come from all sorts of places.
Baby books are often a good source...both hard copy and online versions are useful in their own rights. I have a paperback that I bought long after my own children were named just so I had a resource for those stubborn characters. Adora from Table for Four came out of that book. I specifically wanted a name that denoted beauty (“Adora” means “adorable” in Italian) and yet had a foreign sound to it.
Last names are often found in the phone book. Just open and point. See what comes up and go from there. To be honest, I never use a name exactly out of a phone book, but I’ll take the first syllable of my first stab on the page and another syllable from a second stab somewhere else in the book. Combine them and you have a good name.
Isabel in Cabin Fever was very willing to talk. She was named for a hurricane that had spun its way onshore the year or so previous. I saved that name until I was ready to tell her story and she was very cooperative in helping me along. So was Master Richard in Table for Four. I’d seen a drawing of a Dom and sub...don’t know the artist or the title of the drawing (but I do have it on my Yahoo newsgroup...if anyone could help me identify it, I’d be grateful!)...and as soon as I looked at the picture, I knew the character’s name and part of his story. And thus the story was told.
But mostly the characters are nowhere near so accommodating. Usually they are very recalcitrant or just plain stubborn, making me do all the work. In that case, I need to go looking for inspiration. And that’s where it gets interesting because the names come from all sorts of places.
Baby books are often a good source...both hard copy and online versions are useful in their own rights. I have a paperback that I bought long after my own children were named just so I had a resource for those stubborn characters. Adora from Table for Four came out of that book. I specifically wanted a name that denoted beauty (“Adora” means “adorable” in Italian) and yet had a foreign sound to it.
Last names are often found in the phone book. Just open and point. See what comes up and go from there. To be honest, I never use a name exactly out of a phone book, but I’ll take the first syllable of my first stab on the page and another syllable from a second stab somewhere else in the book. Combine them and you have a good name.
I know this one sounds odd...but I have been known to wander cemetaries reading headstones to find inspiration. I found a great name this way, but the man has been notoriously quiet. Every time I give him his chance, he gives me back a bit of his rogueish personality, but he's keeping his story to himself. Sooner or later you'll find Quintillin Cassidy in one of my stories...I love that name and he was a real person in a real cemetary (btw, I gave this inspirational tip to Kara Godwin of Kara's Captain...the story starts with her wandering a graveyard in search of inspiration for a new story. I wrote that scene while waiting in the car for family...and I happened to be parked beside a cemetary with a wrought-iron fence).
But I’ve recently discovered a new source of names...one underutilized by authors, I’m sure. For who wants to give credit to spam email for anything but trouble? No one...much easier to hit “delete” and ignore it entirely. Except you’re deleting an entire population of possible character names each time you erase them all. Let me give you some recent examples:
Someone named Zachary Scott sent me an email entitled, “Ready for Use” spamming me for Cialis or Viagra or some other penis-enlargement offering (don't have a penis, don't want one...although I can attest that they are great fun!). But look at that again...not only a great name for a hero...but he thoughtfully provided the title of the book as well! Can’t you just see him? Standing tall and commanding, his hands firmly planted on his hips, his stance wide. And kneeling at his feet, a beautiful woman, naked...her knees spread wide, her hands palm up on her thighs, her head down, her hair a veil before her face...Zachary Scott and his slave, “Ready for Use.” Voila! Inspiration! And from a spam email.
One of my favorite names to come from spam is “Clinton Hunter.” Don’t remember what he was selling, but doesn’t the name make you think of a character out gunning for a certain presidential candidate? Clothed in black, ninja-like, lying in wait...(perhaps our hero Zachary Scott saves the day?) See what fun you can have with spam?
But I’ve recently discovered a new source of names...one underutilized by authors, I’m sure. For who wants to give credit to spam email for anything but trouble? No one...much easier to hit “delete” and ignore it entirely. Except you’re deleting an entire population of possible character names each time you erase them all. Let me give you some recent examples:
Someone named Zachary Scott sent me an email entitled, “Ready for Use” spamming me for Cialis or Viagra or some other penis-enlargement offering (don't have a penis, don't want one...although I can attest that they are great fun!). But look at that again...not only a great name for a hero...but he thoughtfully provided the title of the book as well! Can’t you just see him? Standing tall and commanding, his hands firmly planted on his hips, his stance wide. And kneeling at his feet, a beautiful woman, naked...her knees spread wide, her hands palm up on her thighs, her head down, her hair a veil before her face...Zachary Scott and his slave, “Ready for Use.” Voila! Inspiration! And from a spam email.
One of my favorite names to come from spam is “Clinton Hunter.” Don’t remember what he was selling, but doesn’t the name make you think of a character out gunning for a certain presidential candidate? Clothed in black, ninja-like, lying in wait...(perhaps our hero Zachary Scott saves the day?) See what fun you can have with spam?
So names come from everywhere...and they can make or break a character (can you imagine Shakespeare's Katherine if she were named Tiffany?). Authors out there...where do your best names come from? And readers...what are your favorite names?
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Back to Skool
Back. To. School. Three magic words. Whether you have kids going back or are going back yourself (on either side of the desk), you cannot deny the incredible wonder of those three words.
New pencils, new crayons, new notebooks, new binders. New books
And let’s not forget new teachers! First year or fifteenth year…their experience didn’t matter a whit on opening day. They were new to us and that was cause for tons of anxiety the night before. What would she look like? Did he grade really hard? Would she be really strict? By the end of the year we’d either be old friends or hard enemies, but on that first day…anything was possible.
My favorite and my scariest first day of school both happened on the same day. After eight years in public schools, I decided I needed more focus on learning academics and less focus on survival. My junior high years were filled with violence (not a day went by that I didn’t witness at least one fistfight) and I wanted a change. So I talked my parents into sending me to one of several Catholic high schools in our city.
That sounded great in theory. But I’m one who doesn’t really like change. Keeping the status quo is usually just fine with me. Sure my head wanted the move…but the morning of that first day…my heart quailed. What the heck was I thinking? New building, new people, new everything! Heck, I was even wearing a uniform! I didn’t know a single person of the five hundred and twenty-five ninth graders who entered that building that day (a fact I later realized was wrong. As the year progressed, I discovered there were actually two people I’d gone to school with in elementary school or in junior high…two out of five hundred and twenty-five).
So what on earth could make this become by favorite first day? That understanding would come only with hindsight. Later I understood the tremendous courage I’d had to muster to walk through that door and I still take pride in doing something that scared me so much. I also ended up loving that high school…the teachers, the kids, even the administration all combined to create an incredible experience for this shy, scared fourteen-year-old freshman who screwed her courage to the sticking place and got through that first day. I’d not trade those years for anything.
So what about you? What are your favorite memories of the start of school? What made them so memorable? And more importantly, did ya learn anything?
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