Sunday, September 19, 2010

S T R E S S !

For the last few days I have been struggling with a topic to blog about. There have been several really good suggestions but none of them really felt right. This morning I was woken up by a killer migraine and realised I had been clenching my teeth all night. Inspiration struck in the form of a sore jaw and a pounding head.


I get stressed easily. It’s mostly my own fault since I have a tendency to internalize everything and this last couple of months have been high stress for me. Whether it be the book that won’t co-operate, money, personal issues or just work, work and more work we all have things that stress us out to varying degrees.

For me this is my busiest time at work – bet you didn’t know midwives had a busy time of year? Think back 9 months, what was happening? Yep Christmas and New Year and parties with copious amounts of alcohol and *celebrating* LOL! So September is hard work for us. Add that to all of the things I mentioned above plus several pending projects and well, I am wound tighter than a spring. There are a lot of articles out there about how to avoid stress or how to make it better but none of them seem to work for me so I guess I just have to get on with it.

Is anything stressing you out at the moment? How do you deal with it?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Familiarity breeds....comfort

(This entry is a cross-post from my Sex-Diva Blog)

Last night I came to bed very late. After working a busy 3-11 evening shift I always take a little time to wind down, read a few e-mails, play some Bejewelled and, of course, have a small bowl of my favorite cereal. (Cereal is my all-time favorite comfort food. With a dash of nice cold milk...and maybe some fresh peaches.... Mmmmm....) Anyway...I digress...

Needless to say it was close to one o'clock by the time I got all that essential stuff done and managed to crawl into bed beside my softly snoring honey. He was lying on his left side, and since I always sleep on the right side of the bed (This dates back to our first apartment when the right side of the bed was closest to the washroom. Somehow washroom positions changed, but my spot on the bed never did. In fact...come to think of every place we've had since I've been farthest from the bathroom! Hmmm...) Anyway...I digress...

Since I always sleep on the left side of the bed and he always insists that I am to snuggle up to him when I come to bed, even if it risks waking him, I did just that. The thing was, just as I was snuggling up, I realized I needed to take off my earrings and turned over to lay them on the bedside table. When I turned back to the honey...I had to chuckle because his right arm was hovering in the air. Why? you may ask? Because he had sensed me get into bed and had raised his arm in anticipation of my arm slipping under his in our usual, and very familiar, spoony position. I finally snuggled into position with my arm around his waist, his arm draped over mine and our fingers entwined... and I don't think he ever quite woke up.

I love that position. Whether it's my front to his back or vice versa, with his arm wrapped so strong around my waist, there is no better way to snuggle down under the covers and feel safe and warm and completely comfortable and at ease.

There are a lot of things in my life that are routine, predictable and, yes, very comfortable. Things like pizza and movie night with the boys on Fridays. Sitting down to dinner at 6:30, the moment Dad gets home from work. Cereal for breakfast. And sex with the same man for the past 22 years.

Sure things get changed up every once in a while. Variables occasionally come into play...things like vacations, work schedules, bacon and handcuffs. These things are good for variety and to add spice, but in a way they also help us to appreciate the return to the comfortable--the familiar.

There's nothing wrong with having dinner with your family at the same time most nights. And there's nothing wrong with sex with your lover becoming a tad routine. A tad...familiar. Familiarity doesn't necessarily equate with boring. Familiar can also mean that you know what you're doing. You know what works and what doesn't. When your partner's mood is not conducive to long foreplay...and when it is. When to skip the usual oral and go directly to fucking! It's like a waltz...a series of steps and moves, dips and swings, that you've learned so well together over the years that it becomes second nature. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I've never really understood the old "familiarity breeds contempt" addage. It only breeds contempt if you're living in misery, if you don't like your partner in the first place. If you've picked the wrong music and don't know how to waltz.

I love to get down and boogie just as much as the next gal...but the waltz is definitely more enduring and more elegant...and I plan to keep doing it for many more years to come.