Sunday, May 24, 2009

You know you're a Mennonite when...

In keeping with the rather...religious theme of my new release, ESSENTIAL SEDUCTION, and the fact that I've recently started reading a book (A Complicated Kindness) written by a woman who, I swear, has lived at least part of my life as a Mennonite and has now set it to paper...I thought I'd give you all a little glimpse of life as a "Modern Mennonite." i.e. the kind who use electricity and are allowed to wear jeans. It is a past I have thankfully left far behind, but there is no denying it is a part of me. So, here goes...

You know you’re a Mennonite when:

You have learned to laugh politely when someone asks where you parked your buggy. So original. OMG! I can’t contain myself. Ahem. Moving on…

You find elaborate hand stitched quilts to be quite passé. I grew up maneuvering around the quilt frames that were constantly being set up in major living areas in my house. My cousins and I used to make a game out of crawling around under the quilt and batting balls and blocks in a crazy game of “quilt soccer.” Btw, I tried quilting many times. I suck at it.

You have a “potluck kit” ready to go at a moment’s notice, for all those special church basement moments.

You’ve had your feet washed by a relatively casual acquaintance…also in the church basement.

You have drunk grape juice at communion rather than wine, because alcohol is verboten!

You have eaten cook cheese (fermented skim milk that has the consistency of mucous. Actually quite tasty with caraway), straema pie (I have no idea if that’s spelled correctly, but it’s basically applesauce pie) and cream dressing on your iceberg lettuce. Mmmm….and so healthy, too!

You have eaten butter bread dipped in maple syrup rather than flavored oils. (Now that IS nummy!)

You have played card games such as “Rook” or “Dutch Blitz”.

You have debated whether those card games were appropriate to play on a Sunday.

You know what crokinole is.

You have roller skated to the likes of Amy Grant and Petra. Because it’s okay to roller skate to Christian rock, rather than dance to the Devil’s music. (I guess the Christian beat is somehow less corrupting, and you can’t swing your hips as much when you’re on wheels.)

You can swear like a sailor…only in Pennsylvania Dutch.

I could go on and on... but I'll leave it at that! Does anyone share any of these little idiosyncracies? Any questions? I'm here to educate!


Lynn LaFleur said...

I never got the hang of quilting either, although I would love to do it. My mother quilted when I was a little girl. I wish I still had one of the quilts she made.

Very interesting post, Nikki. It's fascinating to get a glimpse of a religion so different from mine.


Tielle St. Clare said...

So, what is a crokinole?

And can I say you've made quite a leap from roller skating and playing "Rook"? I think I played that as a child. My Dad's family is from Pennsylania Dutch country.


Nikki_Soarde said...

Crokinole is a game played on a polished wooden board with little wooden buttons. It's kind of like...curling, in miniature. I live a mere 15 min. away from where the world crokinole championships are held every year. No joke!

Rook is a card game, subject to intense bidding wars!

And a leap? Uh...yeah. YOu could say that. lol

Anny Cook said...

My dad was a Southern Baptist preacher... Didn't wear "pants" until I was almost grown. No cards on Sunday. No dancin'. No swearin'. Yeah, a lot of potluck dinners. Church three times a week.

Treasure said...

OMG! I'm a Mennonite and I never knew it!
I loved playing crokinole as a little girl. Played Dutch Blitz ALL the time in highschool and college.
Mmmmm applesauce pie.... and I make cream dressing to put on my lettuce at every family gathering.
Yep, thick sliced bread with about half a pound of butter slopped through a puddle of maple syrup - how I miss thee!
Lets see...I have been both the foot washer and the washee on a few occasions.
Never quilted, but does embroidering an 18 foot long, 4 generations-old table cloth count?
Oh, and don't forget to add Michael W Smith in to the mix at the Roller Rink. Boys on the outside circle, girls on the inside!