Oh, For The Love Of Freaking Shopping

With the holidays looming ever closer, I recently made that dreaded trip to Wallyworld. You might want to click on over and read this week’s resulting “The Vultures Are Circling” post at the Samhain Blog, which sort of goes along with this topic here. But not quite. Over there, I went into my unique “method” of shopping and emphasized my shopping pet peeves. Here, I’m just going to…how shall I put it?…muse (heehee) about my feelings on shopping in general. Strong feelings. Really strong feelings. :D

Okay, I am woman hear me roar, but I must confess… I totally. Completely. Despise. Shopping.

Any kind of shopping.

*gasp*

There, I said it. And yes, for the second time, I’m definitely a woman if you can believe it. But somehow, I didn’t inherit the OMG-I-lurve-shopping gene.

Food? *groan* I’d rather throw it in a food fight than shop for it. Shoes? Uck. Just give me my worn out old sneakers or hiking boots, thank you very much. Jewelry? Love it, but I just don’t have the patience to shop for rings and necklaces and baubles and such. (Most of the jewelry I wear, hubby, bless his sweet heart, gave me as gifts.) Clothes? Eeeek, I’d rather be yanking splinters out of my gums than spending my day trying on shirt after jeans after dress (even eeckier!) after hat after panties after…well, you get my drift.

And worst of all? Shopping at the mall—the Mall of America (near where I live), no less! *shakes uncontrollably with anxiety* Whoever invented that city-in-itself-madness-under-one-roof concept should be jailed. I go there maybe (kicking and screaming in protest) once a year, and it takes me two to recover.

*sigh* If only there was some way to make items I need magically appear in my house without having to drive hours, go price-compare, color-code, fashion-coordinate, coupon-clip, stand in looong lines, or make use of the chaotic fitting rooms.

Oh, wait…

There is a way: The Internet! Squeeeeeee!

Ah, now there’s a concept. Surf around, sip coffee in jammies, a few clicks here, nibble on a cookie there, a few credit card numbers entered here, and baby, do you ever have me at “Let’s go shopping!” Mmm, yeah, here I am in the privacy of my own quiet home, and voila! The next thing I know the loot’s sitting on my doorstep. Awesome. Amazing. Stress-free. Oh yeah, this kind of shopping I can definitely hang with.

Now, wait! Please hold the hate mail. I’m not a bah-humbugish Scrooge kinda gal, really, I’m not. In fact, I LOVE the holidays! If I could go to the mall and *just* stroll leisurely around gazing at all the gorgeous decorations and listening to the fun and cheery holiday music over the speakers (well, okay, throwing in a glass of wine wouldn’t hurt either), I’d be one happy camper. I adore the feel-fuzzy-inside kinda holiday movies, listening to the 24-hour Christmas music radio stations, baking yummy cookies and fattening candies, family and friends get-togethers, snow and a cozy fire roaring, yes, all of the above. It’s just that dang shopping part that gets my nerves all in a bunch.

So what about you? Did you inherit the love-to-shop-at-the-crazy-malls gene? Do you prefer Internet shopping instead? Or like me, would you rather just have a root canal than go shopping, period? LOL

Titania Ladley is a multi-published, best-selling erotic romance author. Her newest release, KABANA HEAT (Samhain Publishing), is a contemporary ménage set in Hawaii. Don’t miss this HOT love story! Mrs. Giggles on Kabana Heat: 90 and a Keeper, “…most charming naughty romp.” Please visit Titania at http://www.titanialadley.com/ for more.