Sunday, April 19, 2009

Men and Women--different sexes or different species?

My older sister once said to me that marriage was a barbaric institution and men and women were really never meant to live together. At the time, I was dating and in the midst of new love so I thought she was just being an old married woman.

After twelve years of marriage, I have to wonder if she might have been onto something. . .

Let me preface this by saying, I have a wonderful husband whom I love with all my heart and I think we have a pretty solid marriage based on mutual respect and values not to mention good sex.

That said, there are times when I could happily beat him with a stick.

Men and women just think differently. They have different meanings for the same words and a totally different understanding of time. Now, this may be generalizing a lot, but it’s my blog so I can do that!

Let me give you a few examples. . .

Men- I’ll be back in ten minutes. This really means, I have no idea when I’ll be back, but I think it will be less than an hour unless, of course, I run into someone I know and we have to solve the world’s problems.

Men- Just let me watch the last two minutes of the game. This really means the last quarter/half/two innings etc. and will take upwards of half an hour and at least two more drinks.

Men- I just had a beer or two with the guys. This really means I had less than a case of beer and you should be glad I didn’t end up on stage with the stripper like my buddy did.

Men-I cleaned the kitchen. This means, I put my dishes in the dishwasher.

Men- I was watching the kids! This means, I was asleep on the couch, but in the same building as the children when they set fire to the cat.


I think the divorce rate would go down significantly if all married couples lived in duplexes—men on one side, women on the other with common rooms in the middle. Women could decorate with all the girly frou-frou things they wanted and put up towels no one can use with the soap no one can use and men wouldn’t be mystified by items in the medicine closet. Men would be able to burp and fart and watch TV in their underwear while leaving towels on the floor and eating directly out of the carton/bag/box. Everyone would be happy.
What do you think?

6 comments:

Lynn LaFleur said...

Ohmigosh, how true is this! I was married for 29 years, so know exactly what you're saying.

I think every woman should watch this You Tube video from Mark Gungor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxtUH_bHBxs It explains so much about how men are completely different than women.

Great post, Ari!

Lynn

Claudia said...

After 41 years of marriage, I couldn't agree more! There was one little problem you didn't solve. All those dirty towels, smelly stuff in his section - who cleans it up? You certainly don't expect him to do it, right? After all, cleaning the kitchen to my hubby is leaving his plate on the table with the knife and fork placed on top.

Have a good one!

MC

Nikki_Soarde said...

Uh...ahem...you may hate me, but I'm probably one of the rarities, who actually counts herself quite lucky in this department. Now, keep in mind...I've been married for 21 years...and my hubby is only one of FOUR men who share my roof. My boys now range in age from 12 to 17...and I am officially the shortest person in the house, as well as the only female.

And...all things considered, I've got it pretty darn good. No, my hubby isn't perfect by ANY means. He often needs to be asked--more than once--to do his part in the kitchen, or to please do the vaccuuming today, or to fold his laundry which has been on a pile for a week. And I still find socks all over the flippin' house. But (and don't hate me, but) here are just a few of the perks that I enjoy.

He does his own laundry. That was completely my doing a few years ago because I was just so sick of doing ten thousand loads a week. My boys are now in charge of their own as well. So, when he runs out of underwear...it's not my problem.

He doesn't watch sports. He's a triathlete and spends a lot of time training, but it's hard to get angry at a man who's pursuing good health.

He is proficient in the kitchen. No, he can't put together a full course meal, but years of my working shifts have forced him to figure a few things out. And, from time to time he gets ambitious and bakes these elaborate cakes.

Again, thanks to my crazy shifts, he is proficient at grocery shopping. And...believe it or not...he actually ENJOYS shopping for clothes with me! He's good at it...largely because he just enjoys watching me try on sexy outfits.

And...and this is a biggy...he gives looooong....deeep....wonderful massages. It's really hard to get overly irritated at a man who spends an hour and a half giving a full body massage. And, on occasion...actually lets me fall asleep afterwards. lol

Now, also keep in mind I'm a very low-key housekeeper. The house can be in absolute chaos and I can shrug my shoulders and ignore it. If company's coming, THEN I panic, but otherwise...my only requirement is to be able to get to the bathroom without tripping.

So, in light of all this I've come to the conclusion that necessity is the mother of change. My crazy shift-work schedule has been a HUGE factor in forcing all of my men to figure things out for themselves occasionally. It's amazing what gets done when there, quite simply, is no one else in the house to do it! And, the other part of it is...just letting go. If it's not likely to cause mortal harm...how important is it?

Now I'll duck and run for cover. lol

Fran Lee's Romance Blog said...

Oh, wow! You hit that nail right on the head! Funny...and insightful!

Shayla Kersten said...

Too funny but so true! I really believe my late ex-husband and I would have had a wonderful marriage if we had separate apartments in the same building. Close enough for booty calls without having to brave the outdoors to get to sleep in your own bed. We were extremely compatible in the bedroom and in public but living together, just not possible.

Shelley Munro said...

LOL - I had to laugh. Actually, Nikki, you're not alone. My hubby is pretty good when it comes to housework/cooking etc and cleaning up after himself. But the one about I just had a few beers...
Yup. Men, they are definitely wired differently to us. :)