Monday, April 5, 2010

Rejected again...

This week I got another editor rejection. Nothing new I hear you say, it happens all the time. Rejection comes with the territory and if you want to be a published author then it's one of the things you just have to deal with. You're right. This is far from my first but for some reason this one affected me more deeply than any others in the past have. So deeply that I had a complete meltdown. There were tears, lots of them. My meltdown even spread to online where I shared my devastation with the whole of the twitterverse. I have no idea why this time it was more painful than any of the rest. Was it the way it was rejected (completely) no 'this was good, but'? One rejection too many? Was it my love for the characters and my belief in their story? The fact that this is the first time in a long time that I had finished something? Or was it everything else in my life that sucked this week just finally getting on top of me?

The proverbial last straw.

Whatever the reason, I was ready to give up. No more writing, it was getting too painful. Why continue with something that used to be enjoyable but was now causing so much hurt? Perhaps I wasn't meant to be a writer after all? And indeed, I haven't written a word since then (twitter doesn't count) until now. I'd like to thank everyone who sent me a message of encouragement, sympathy and empathy or anger on my behalf. Your support means the world to me. Now, almost a week later I am still upset, but not feeling quite so negative. Thanks to all of you, plus a little time and perspective I have decided to get back on the horse after all. Will I have the courage to submit anything again? I don't know yet. Probably. The fact of the matter is that I was a writer before I was published and I'm still a writer now. I am going to try to reclaim the things about it that made me happy before I saw my name on a book. The joy of escaping into a world of my own making, whether anyone else cares about it or not.

12 comments:

Debra Glass said...

While I've found my niche at Ellora's Cave with historical light BDSM, I can't get any interest for my mainstream historicals with NY pubs. Oh well.... Guess I'll just stick with what I seem to do best.

Persistence is key, Cait. Send it 2 more places for every rejection. The trick is getting it in front of the right editor at the right time.

And more often than not, it's not the writing but the sellability of the story and the need for that particular story at that particular time.

Get back on the horse, girl.

Heather said...

An editor once told me it only takes the right editor at the right time...not every person loves every story, but it only takes one.

Chin up :). You'll find the one who's right for your story, but not if you don't keep sending it out.

Best of luck!

Shayla Kersten said...

HUGS! Sometimes ya just gotta let it out! LOL I know the feeling and can empathize.

Most of the time, I'm very matter of fact about rejections. I might make comments under my breath about the rejector's parentage, etc. but I don't mean it. It's just letting off frustration. However, sometimes it just plain hurts.

But like Debra said, send it out again and keep on going!

Lynne Connolly said...

Oh yes, I've been there. Once or twice it really hurt, maybe because I thought I'd got the gig, or because I thought the book hit the right spot at the right time. It just happens.
You know you're good, because you're already published, but it does dent your self esteem, and it gives you a big sad.
Hugs. I'll be able to give you a proper hug soon, but for now, have a virtual one.

Christine d'Abo said...

Having read this story, I know how much it hurt. Don't give up on it yet, sweetie!

Tielle St. Clare said...

I love the end of your blog, Cait. You're right. Sometimes we have to go back and remember why we wrote in the first place. For me, it was because stories were running around in my head and I needed an outlet for them. Keep the faith, girl!

Lynn LaFleur said...

Hang it there, Cait! You know all the Scribes love you and your writing. We won't give up on you, and we won't let you give up on yourself.

Lynn

April Ash said...

Don't give up! Keep sending to other editors. Keep writing. Don't let anyone make you feel like you need to give up.
Pity party over...now write!
Marianne/April

N.J.Walters said...

Don't give up, Cait. You love writing and that's all that matters. Submitting work is not easy. Rejection is more likely than acceptance. But when you get a project accepted it's a beautiful thing.

Sometimes a rejection can hit harder. I usually shrug mine off, but I had a book rejected a couple years ago and was devastated because I thought it was one of the best books I'd ever written. I sent it to a friend to read, reread it myself and actually rewrote it, making some changes. That book got published after all.

Hang in there my friend.

Hugs
NJ

Savannah Stuart said...

I'm sending healing thoughts and hugs your way! Just got a string of R's from my agent and one from my editor too :( Hang in there!! Sometimes it just has to get in front of the right editor! Hope you're able to shake this off soon.

Denise A. Agnew said...

Cait,
I missed your tweet where you told us about the rejection. I must have been under a rock. But as far as your experience, I've had that feeling more than once. Probably too many times. I think you're right there with the rest of us and this is a pretty common experience among any writer. We see an editor's okay as a sign of our total worthiness sometimes. The book is us...and no matter how many times you hear people say that you have to toughen up and fly straight, that denies the very nature of most authors. There's a soft core in there. An empathic core that makes us who we are. I'll email ya personally and we can chat!

Denise A. Agnew
www.deniseagnew.com

Cait Miller said...

Thanks everyone for your comments, you all made very good points. Happily I have now (mostly) recovered and since I am going to the RT Con in a couple of weeks I know my enthusiasm will be boosted again.