Rejected again...

This week I got another editor rejection. Nothing new I hear you say, it happens all the time. Rejection comes with the territory and if you want to be a published author then it's one of the things you just have to deal with. You're right. This is far from my first but for some reason this one affected me more deeply than any others in the past have. So deeply that I had a complete meltdown. There were tears, lots of them. My meltdown even spread to online where I shared my devastation with the whole of the twitterverse. I have no idea why this time it was more painful than any of the rest. Was it the way it was rejected (completely) no 'this was good, but'? One rejection too many? Was it my love for the characters and my belief in their story? The fact that this is the first time in a long time that I had finished something? Or was it everything else in my life that sucked this week just finally getting on top of me?

The proverbial last straw.

Whatever the reason, I was ready to give up. No more writing, it was getting too painful. Why continue with something that used to be enjoyable but was now causing so much hurt? Perhaps I wasn't meant to be a writer after all? And indeed, I haven't written a word since then (twitter doesn't count) until now. I'd like to thank everyone who sent me a message of encouragement, sympathy and empathy or anger on my behalf. Your support means the world to me. Now, almost a week later I am still upset, but not feeling quite so negative. Thanks to all of you, plus a little time and perspective I have decided to get back on the horse after all. Will I have the courage to submit anything again? I don't know yet. Probably. The fact of the matter is that I was a writer before I was published and I'm still a writer now. I am going to try to reclaim the things about it that made me happy before I saw my name on a book. The joy of escaping into a world of my own making, whether anyone else cares about it or not.